Children on the autism spectrum often do not make typical and expected statements in conversation to indicate interest. This happens for two reasons. First, they might not be at all interested in what the other person is saying. Second, they might be interested, but they are not aware of the importance of validating words and phrases in conversation and they are not well practiced in using them.
Validating words and phrases, such as “cool,” “you don’t say,” “really,” how about that” and others are very common in typical conversation. But many individuals with autism spectrum disorders use these words very seldom. Without the special lubrication of validating words and phrases, the conversation can fall flat.
My short Youtube video on how to use validating language prompts is available through this link: http://bit.ly/wiL3dW . If you watch it, a lot of this will probably become much more clear.
How make the written prompts:
Print out the PDF onto card stock or else paper that you laminate.
How to use the written prompts:
1. Hold up the prompts during times when validating language is called for.
2. Switch roles. You play the person who does not know how to use these words. Have the kids hold up the cards while you are talking to someone so you know what to say.
3. Learn and use these short, easy songs from the YouTube video (with younger kids). This helps them to learn and remember these important words.
Don’t miss these other free social skills printable, worksheets, games and resources to help kids on the autism spectrum with social communication, interaction and emotional regulation:
Many of my social skills resources for children with autism include large visuals that can be used either as accessories during teaching or as wall displays. Below you will find links to eleven of my blog posts which feature large, illustrated panels as part of the kit.
To go to the resource, click on the PICTURE.
Rigidity / Flexibility Panels
These are part of a social skills kit which includes lots of scenario and role play cards.
Dealing with Losing and Disappointment Panels
Tattling and Correcting Panels
These are a part of big free download kit which includes dozens of picture cards
Showing Concern Panels
Silly to Serious Kit
These are part of a big kit that includes dozens of situation and role play cards. Many teachers in autistic support classrooms have found the panels useful for behavioral classroom management. You can put an arrow on one of the four levels and say “We are at this level now.”
Teasing / Bullying Panels
This is part of a larger kit which includes a lot of situation and question cards to help children with autism to deal with the practical and emotional aspects of being teased and bullied.
Components of Listening Panels
There is also a simple worksheet using the same set of visuals.
Reciprocal Conversation Panels
This is part of a kit that includes a card game activity for conversation activities with children on the autism spectrum. It is derived from a concept of RDI.
Compliment Matching Panels
These panels, a sample from the People Points kit I sell, is to help children on the autism spectrum to practice the social skill of giving compliments.
Panels on Relating to Girls
These are part of a kit which includes role play and situation cards for teen boys on the autism spectrum who are learning social skills relating to female peers.
NOTE: For an updated variation of this activity with the option of drag-and-drop images in PowerPoint, follow this link to “Problem & Solution Cards” below:
Many children with autism spectrum disorders are quite fond of fantasy characters. Social skill teaching interventions which employ fantasy characters can tap into these predilections, increase insight and sustain interest in the social skills teaching work.
These “Dark Force – Light Force” social skills worksheets are a great way to help children and teens with ASD’s to think about issues affecting them and possible solutions.
Many children can be engaged in learning activities quickly if we employ imagination to capture and sustain their interest.
Why bother to incorporate imagination and art into social skills work with kids on the spectrum?
1. Children with ASD lose stamina in social skills work if we don’t lighten it up a little. Think about it. Many are in for years of listening to people like us scrutinize and edify them.
2. Children with Asperger’s and other autism spectrum disorders very often have a special fondness for fantasy worlds.
3. Children with ASD often do much better identifying problems if we employ a strategic, indirect approach to it. If you ask a child on the spectrum, “Are there ever any problems with changes or dealing with new schedules and routines?”, the child might answer “No, not really.” But if you show the same child a picture of Rock Brain (from Social Thinking) or Rigidity (a Ryuu character), and ask, “Do these characters ever cause any problems for you?”, you will very often get a completely different answer.
Drawing worksheets, based on fantasy characters, to explore social skills challenges in kids with ASD
Start by introducing social skills fantasy character kits such as the two introduced in Part 1 of this blog series.
Then, to introduce the drawing activity, you can try using language like this:
“No one is perfect. Almost everyone has lots of problems. There is a very important kind of smartness called “insight.” That means, you are able to look inside yourself to see what things you are good at and also what things are hard for you. People who have lots of “insight” are especially good at noticing what problems they have.
I wonder which of you kids is going to be good at knowing what your problems are?
To find out, we are going to do a fun and challenging drawing activity. Here is how to do it. Think of a problem that you are working on. Now, give it a name, and think about what it might look like if it were actually alive! Draw a picture of it on the Dark Force sheet and write about it in the blank on that page.
Next, think about how you could work on that problem. Imagine that this “Light Force” is also a creature with a name. Write down the name of this Light Force, draw a picture of it, and then write about it on that page.”
The worksheets are are designed to be completed in pairs, with a “Light Force” opposing a “Dark Force”
You can suggest these possible categories below before the kids start inventing and drawing.
1. Dealing with anger
2. Dealing with worries
3. Dealing with sadness
4. Calming down your body. This could cover hyperactivity, or else finding appropriate places and times to stim.
5. Getting along with others. This could cover cooperation, conflict avoidance, concern for others, friendship skills.
6. Spending too much time alone
7. Trouble being organized
8. Talking too loud or too soft
9. Talking too much about what YOU like
How to print out the worksheets:
Click on the red PDF link at the top of this blog post.
Visuals to help children with autism spectrum disorders to improve listening skills
Children on the autism spectrum can find it painfully difficult to tune into the words and meaning of other people. They may hear extraneous sounds in the room. They may be distracted by more interesting things to look at. The person talking may be competing unsuccessfully with the autistic child’s inner thoughts.
Picture worksheet to raise awareness of the components of listening
I have made a very simple sheet to help kids to focus when the teacher or another person is talking. Here are two suggestions on how to use it.
1. Place it on the child’s desk. Taping it down securely might be a good idea for some kids. Either you or the child can be the one to put check marks on the sheet. Putting little reward stickers on the various boxes should work nicely as well.
2. When you are working with a small group: Get a worksheet for each child in the group, and write their names on them. Place these worksheets on a vertical surface next to you, facing the group participants. As your group activity progresses, put check marks on each worksheet within the various categories to indicate observed success within the various categories. If you happen to be running your activity with a co-worker, this system works even better.
Here is one way to use the worksheets, which is explained above.
Here is one very simple use of the worksheet, sent in to me by someone who downloaded the images from the website. She put the sheet in a plastic sheet in a student’s folder to reinforce his listening during class time.
A speech language professional in California sent in this photo.
Wall display to help kids with ASD with listening skills
I designed these wall panels as simply as possible with a minimum of words, so they might be used in a range of grade levels. Here is what they might look like on your wall:
An SLP in California sent in this photo showing how she displayed this resource.
There are literally thousands of videos on YouTube made by people with autism. In this blog, I discuss these videos, and explain how to use them in counseling and social skills work with young people on the autism spectrum.
The amazing world of YouTube videos made by people on the autism spectrum
Please watch the video below, made by a boy with Asperger’s next to his bunk bed. Then come back to this blog, and check out my links to several dozen more terrific videos made by young people on the autism spectrum on topics such as relationships, eye contact, stimming, emotions, and more.
Why you should use YouTube videos made by people with autism for counseling, teaching and your own learning
People with autism are often the best source of information about their own issues and how to deal with them. When looking for authoritative information on what it is like to be autistic, and how to cope, it often makes sense to “ask an Aspie.”
People with autism on YouTube provide good role models for our students and clients. If you are a teacher, speech pathologist, counselor or mental health professional working with young people on the autism spectrum, you are constantly trying to motivate and inspire your students and clients. Many children and teens with ASD are isolated and demoralized. The right YouTube video can really help children with high functioning autism to talk about themselves and work on problems.
Showing YouTube videos in your school or office – or at home, if you are a parent using these videos – is easy and foolproof. In another blog, I provide simple instructions for downloading YouTube videos to your own computer and for making the playback loud enough for a group or a class to hear easily. To learn about this, FOLLOW THIS LINK HERE.
The organization of the YouTube links below
I have organized my links to YouTube videos into a number of somewhat arbitrary categories. I will be adding to this list periodically. If you are aware of particularly useful YouTube videos which I have not listed, or if you have found ways to use YouTube videos which I have not described here, I would be grateful if you could please email me at info [at] AutismTeachingStrategies [dot] com.
Please be aware that YouTube url links can change as the YouTube sites hosting the videos move the videos or take them down altogether. Kindly email me if you discover that a link no longer works.
Autism Self Description
These videos can be used to help children on the spectrum to learn about their diagnosis and to help them establish a connection with the worldwide community of people with autism.
Alex’s video has gotten 1.4 million views, more than any other autism self-help video I am aware of. He talks about Asperger’s, his particular interests, auditory sensitivity, feelings of isolation, learning disabilities, and his sense of satisfaction about his conditon.
This very short and very funny animation is the first in a series of animations created by a group of teenagers with Asperger’s in England.
This computer animated feature was created by Bob Greenwade, and adult on the autism spectrum. It provides some good information about people with Asperger’s and pokes good-natured fun at some of their quirks.
I really like this young man’s candid and humble description of his childhood experiences with social skills training in public schools and clinical settings.
This young woman provides a positive perspective. On her YouTube channel, you can also view a video of her interviewing renowned Asperger’s expert Tony Attwood.
Autism and Communication
The creators of these videos make interesting comments about their difficulties with conversation
Jonah has made a number of good videos and I provide links to a couple others below. He has very clear recollections of when he was in kindergarten and how his obsessions (his own term) with airplanes distracted him in social situations.
This 14-year-old boy describes his growing realization that others are put off by his style of speaking, which seems linked to his intense interests outside the realm of typical youth culture.
This computer animation, just 30 seconds long, captures the feelings of frustration and isolation at trying to make conversation in a crowded room.
In this second video by Aspie Bob Greenwade, he pokes fun at the tendency of individuals on the spectrum to interrupt and gratuitously correct others in conversation.
Autism and Eye Contact
A great many individuals with autism have posted YouTube videos on the topic of eye contact. Watching them has been a very important learning experience for me. Here are three of my favorite ones.
Matthew Ryan Morin, whose YouTube videos are included also in the Bullying section below, makes articulate comments about eye contact and how he has worked on it.
Arman Khodaie, who has posted dozens of YouTube self-help videos, provides a fascinating analysis of his eye contact challenges and how he has coped with them. He describes being punished by his grandmother for deficient eye contact when he was a child. Mr. Khodaie wears nonprescription glasses because it helps his eyes feel less vulnerable in social situations.
Autism and Sensory Sensitivity
If you are a neurotypical person like me, these videos might really increase your appreciation for how autistic people experience extremes of sound, taste and other senses.
This short video shows a four-year-old on the autism spectrum reacting to the noise in a gym class.
This very short animation, created by the same teens on the spectrum who created the claymation feature I listed earlier in this blog, really opened my eyes into how light and sound is experienced by individuals with autism.
This is another very short feature by the Biomation teens. The narrator describes how she can easily become disgusted when foods are served together. After following this link, you need to forward through a few others in the series to get to this one.
In this video, this young man describes how he needs to wear industrial grade ear protection when he indulges his passion, train watching. In the section below on Fascinations, I provide a link to his YouTube channel where he has posted hundreds of videos of trains.
Autism and Stimming (self-stimulation)
The internet and YouTube provide a forum where autistic people trade information about stimming and offer people without autism a window into their world.
In this video, Matthew provides a demonstration of stimming, which he edited into a montage and set the music of “I like to move it, move it.”
Anabelle has a YouTube channel called “Way to Stim Wednesday.” Each Wednesday, she posted a new video of herself stimming in a different way.
Arman Khodaie has made several videos about stimming. In this one, he assimilates feedback he has received from others who have written him comments. This demonstrates a common practice on YouTube, utilized often by individuals with autism who post videos – dialogue and information exchange, often occurring through “response videos.”
Autism and Anxiety
Many people with autism post videos on this topic. They describe their experiences and offer and solicit advice.
This is Jonah again, the same teenager who made the video under Communication above, talks about how anxiety affects him.
Jonah continues talking about upsetting emotions in this video. This is an excellent video to show to young people who are learning about cognitive behavioral therapy. Jonah has a sound grasp of the link between automatic negative thoughts and anxiety.
Dealing with Bullying
I only have several videos in this series and I am looking for more of them.
Watch this one all the way through. By all means do not miss the part where he acts out the parts of a bully and a mean girl who taunted him about his tics.
This is another very short animation in the Biomation series I cited above. Fast forward through several videos to get to this one.
Autism and Dating / Romantic Relationships
People with autism have posted hundreds of videos on these topics
Laura Paxton provides a clear explanation about the pitfalls of being too persistent in a relationship. In one part of the video, she uses two stuffed animals to demonstrate the risks of being too “clingy.”
Arman Khodaie has posted a number of videos on this topic directed to both males and females on the autism spectrum.
Fascinations and Fantasy
The first several videos deal with the general issue of preferred, fixated interests affecting people with autism. I follow this with a couple videos dealing with fantasy enthrallment, which is a particular interest of mine.
This young man on the autism spectrum, whose video about auditory / light sensitivity I featured earlier in this blog, has posted multitudes of train videos on YouTube.
Watch this video through to the part where he gives a tour of his home and shows us the accessories of his various unusual hobbies.
Tyler McNamer provides abundant insights into how he, and many other people with autism, can be affected by strong involvement in imagination.
This man’s videos receive many views and comments from other people on the autism spectrum. In this video, he reflects on how fantasy and imagination affected him at an earlier age.
Update 1-14-2022: I have free materials on my site on managing fantasy and pretend issues. To access them click HERE.
I hope you enjoy and appreciate these people’s YouTube videos.
In this blog post you can download the materials shown above. The photo shows one of nine panels used for teaching or wall display, and three of thirty-two social skills teaching cards.
Boys with autism face special challenges in understanding and relating to girls
In this blog post, I offer some basic background on issues affecting teenage boys on the autism spectrum pertaining to their relationships with girls, and then I provide some social skills teaching materials for mental health professionals, teachers and speech-language pathologists to use in their work.
Problem 1: Difficulties understanding the interests and perspectives of girls and women
Children on the autism spectrum have challenges with “theory of mind,” that is, understanding what other people might be thinking. This presents particular problems when a boy with high functioning autism is dealing with individuals of the opposite gender. (It is hard enough, after all, for males who do not have autism).
Problem 2: Difficulties with verbal and nonverbal elements of communication
With regard to nonverbal communication, when interacting with girls, boys on the autism spectrum have a tendency to make mistakes with eye contact and personal space. Eye contact errors fall into two categories. First, many boys with high functioning autism find it very difficult to look into the eyes of other people when they are talking. This can cause them a lot of anxiety and break their concentration. Second, boys who are attracted to girls might not understand the negative social impact of staring at girls in a conspicuous manner. Personal space errors can occur when a boy on the autism spectrum gets too close to a girl or touches her in an unwanted manner.
With respect to verbal communication, boys with high functioning autism face many challenges when communicating with girls. They might wish to compliment a girl, but they may not understand the unwritten social rules about bluntly complimenting a girl’s attractive features. Boys on the spectrum might find it overwhelmingly difficult to find common ground in conversation with a girls, and boys might consequently fall back on their preferred interests in conversation.
Problem 3: Difficulties with appearance and hygiene
Right around the time that boys on the autism spectrum may be first feeling attraction to girls, they are in the process of taking over numerous self-care tasks from their parents. Consequently, many teenage boys with ASD have problems with hygiene, attire and grooming. They may have dirty and unkempt hair. They may bathe infrequently or inadequately. Likewise, they often neglect dental hygiene. They may select clothing based on comfort or habit rather than fashion. All of these problems present enormous liabilities when relating to young females, who, compared to young males, are more inclined to be aware of hygiene, smell and appearance.
Problem 4: Fundamental challenges finding compatible romantic partners
Autism affects far more males than females. This, unfortunately, puts young men on the autism spectrum at a statistical disadvantage. Males with autism do, of course, often date and marry females who are not on the spectrum. However, young men with autism often have a special affinity for young women on the spectrum – but relatively few of these females with ASD are out there.
A note about young gay people on the spectrum:
In our work with young men with autism, we of course come into contact with males who are attracted to males. Please be aware that you can modify the materials below to address the needs of this population. And, by the way, there is a terrific, short autobiography by a man with Asperger’s who happens to be gay – Born on a Blue Day by Daniel Tammett.
How to use the free materials provided in this post:
The image below shows the teaching panels as they might appear if you placed them on the wall in a bulletin board fashion. You could also bind them together to create a simple, nine-page book.
The image below shows several of the cards. You can use these in individual, group or small class-size interventions. Here are some suggestions. First, you could arrange the cards into three piles by card type. Then, you could, by roll of dice, have participants pick from one of of three card types (roll of 1 or 2, or 3 or 4, or 5 or 6 determines which card is selected). Alternatively, shuffle the cards and have participants select them an random.
About role playing in the “Act it out” cards:
The majority of guidance counselors, psychotherapists, special education teachers and speech-language pathologists are females. Working with boys who are trying to learn to relate to girls, you have certain practical advantages if you are female. This allows you to play the role of the “girl” in the role plays I have set up in the “Act it out” cards.
About the “Fix the Thought” cards:
Here is a suggestion on how to use these cards. Introduce these cards by saying something like this: “Certain thoughts and beliefs can lead to all kinds of upsetting emotions and make these bad feelings much worse. If you can notice them and fight them, you can feel less upset.” Then, you, the adult, can try holding the card over your head and say, “Let’s pretend I am a person having this thought.” Then, you act out the role of someone having the thought, and ask the participants to give you advice and tell you what better alternative thoughts you might try.
I wish you well in your work helping boys on the autism spectrum to understand and relate to females.
Joel Shaul, LCSW
FYI: A great activity to go with this resource:
Using girl magazines and other media to help boys with ASD learn about girls
Click HERE for an illustrated description of this method.
Don’t miss these other free social & emotional skills games, worksheets and teaching / therapy resources for children & teens with ASD:
Below, there is a free download to create these “All About Me” signs. They are used to help children with ASD to consider peer thoughts and interests during conversation. Both individuals in role play practice wear signs displaying their interests.
Children with Asperger’s and other autism spectrum disorders usually have great difficulty with learning, remembering and using information about others in conversation. Elsewhere in this series of blogs, I have provided methods and downloadable visuals to help children with ASD to speak in a more reciprocal manner. Here is one more technique, which can be used from about age 6 up through teen years.
Tips on helping children to complete the All About Me signs:
1. You may have them select pictures online to paste onto the sign instead of having them draw the pictures.
2. Suggest to children completing the signs that they should include a variety of pictures. It constrains conversation to restrict the All About Me sign to, say, four different pictures representing four different video games.
Tools to use in combination with the All About Me signs:
Green Zone Two-person worksheets. These are really useful for having two peers identify common ground. There are many other conversation skills resources on this website.
Here are some words to try…or your own intro might improve on the intro I provide here:
“When you talk to another person, you always have to think about what the other person might be thinking and what the other person might like to talk about. To help you think about what other people like to talk about, we are going to make All About Me signs. Draw simple pictures that another person can understand. Use your very best writing. When you are finished, we will use string to attach it around your neck. You will then have a conversation with another person who is also wearing and All About Me sign. Each of you will do your best to pay attention to the things the other person likes.”
I hope you have fun with this activity. [by the way…the kid pictures shown here are derived from free images found online.]
![Listening-blog-post-Wall-Display-blog-display[1]](http://autismteachingstrategies.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Listening-blog-post-Wall-Display-blog-display1.jpg)
