Turn-taking in children with ASD: Visual-based social skills strategies

Turn taking and theory of mind deficits

The diverse social skills associated with taking turns can be very difficult for children with ASD to master. This has to do with theory of mind deficits. A child with ASD may be unable to predict how another person might feel to be interrupted in a video game or given the last turn in a video game. A child on the autism spectrum might not be able to anticipate the positive social consequences for allowing a peer to go ahead of them at the drinking fountain or talk first in a discussion.

Making it visual

It often helps to make it visual when teaching social skills to kids with Asperger’s and other autism spectrum disorders. Here are some visual tools you can either download free from my various blog posts or else buy for very little money.

Thought bubble explanations

Many young children fuss about being first, but quite a few children on the autism spectrum persist in “me first” behavior, in a child-like fashion, well into their teens. Use this panel, which is part of a series of seven of my free panels you can download for free from the website, to show how others might react to someone who always tries to be first. Using your own simple pictures, create other simple thought bubble explanations to demonstrate how others feel in turn-taking situations in play and work.

Using a balance

An inexpensive classroom balance, available for about 18 dollars online, is a very useful gadget for demonstrating reciprocity in relationships and conversation. I have made a nice, illustrated tutorial to show you how to do it – click HERE.

Using a Talking Stick

This is a method of enforcing turn-taking in conversation which is part of Native American lore and tradition. Making simple Talking Sticks and using them can provide a fun and useful series of social skills lessons for young people on the autism spectrum.

How to make Talking Sticks

Pie charts

For children on the autism spectrum who dominate discussions, pie chart visuals can be extremely helpful. Here is a link that guides you to pie chart visuals like the one shown above as well as blank templates for you to customize.

Pie chart downloads

Conversation turn-taking visuals: chains and girders

I provide you with very simple downloads to create hands-on, visual conversation activities. Just download, print and cut out. I give you explanations and and a Youtube video to learn how to use the chain and girder images.

Chains and girders download and explanation

Conversation turn-taking visuals: chains and girders

Trains are my favorite visuals for teaching back-and-forth and coherence in conversation.

Click HERE to access the free download of the Train Conversation Printable Kit.

I wish you well with your social skills teaching. I hope that introducing some of these visual elements might help in your work.

Joel Shaul, LCSW

Your comments on these resources are most welcome, and often helpful. Click HERE to send an email.

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May 24, 2012June 27, 2026

Talk-to-dad conversation starter worksheets for kids with Asperger’s and other autism disorders

conversation reciprocity worksheet for kids with Asperger's

Talk-to-Family-Member-Free-Download-3 Download

Free check-off worksheets for children with ASD’s to explore conversation topics with family members

Children with autism spectrum disorders often have difficulties having conversations with the people they live with. It really helps to use picture guides. Here is a set of easy-to-use worksheets for classroom, speech room and home.

Hot to use the worksheets:

1. Have the child put check marks next to the photos they think represent the person’s interests.

2. Go over the images one at a time with the child. Explain that the family member probably has many interests that are different from the child’s own interests.

3. The sheet “Questions, Comments, Compliments” can be used to set up role plays and actual conversation practice with family members.

4. Have family members fill them out for the child to use as a reference.

5. Project the sheets using a smart board or projector – this really helps for small group or classroom discussions about family members.

I hope these worksheets are useful for you.

Joel Shaul, LCSW

Your comments on these resources are most welcome, and often helpful. Click HERE to send an email.

May 11, 2012June 27, 2026

“Talk to Mom” illustrated social skills worksheets for kids with Asperger’s and other ASD’s

Talk-to-Family-Member-Free-Download-2 Download

In French: Comment-discuter-avec-membres-de-votre-famille-fiches-de-travail

Free check-off worksheets for children with ASD’s to explore conversation topics with family members

How to use the worksheets:

1. Have the child put check marks next to the photos they think represent the person’s interests.

2. Go over the images one at a time with the child. Explain that the family member probably has many interests that are different from the child’s own interests.

3. The sheet “Questions, Comments, Compliments” can be used to set up role plays and actual conversation practice with family members.

4. Have family members fill them out for the child to use as a reference.

5. Project the sheets using a smart board or projector – this really helps for small group or classroom discussions about family members.

I hope these worksheets are useful for you.

Joel Shaul, LCSW

Your comments on these resources are most welcome, and often helpful. Click HERE to send an email.

April 18, 2012June 27, 2026

Teasing and bullying social skills kit for kids with ASD – Free download cards and illustrated panels

autism social skills counseling materials

Teasing-Bullying-Cards-Panels-Download Download

Children with autism spectrum disorders often suffer quite a lot from being teased and bullied. I have designed some materials to help them to learn some coping skills in this area. This is not intended to serve as an entire curriculum or to function as a classroom’s primary response to the problem of teasing and bullying. Obviously, preventing cruel children from victimizing vulnerable peers on the autism spectrum is the main problem to solve.

The materials I provide here are to help with:

*Increasing repertoire of functional responses to teasing and bullying

*Increasing ability to distinguish “friendly” from “mean” teasing and to distinguish intentional from unintentional harm

*Increasing ability to cope with anger, anxiety, sadness and other emotions associated with being teased and bullied

How to use the six illustrated panels:

The panels are designed to be used in several different ways. First, they are to be displayed while using the cards to help children know how to respond to the questions and challenges on the cards. Second, you might consider posting them on your wall as a bulletin board if you decide to not use the cards. Finally, you can use them in small groups to hold up one at a time as instructional aids when you are dealing with this topic.

How to use the cards:

There are three kinds of cards:

1. ” What to do?” cards: These cards describe hypothetical kids in a variety of problem scenarios, and the person drawing the card has to figure out possible solutions. There is often more than one answer.

2. “What about you?” cards: These cards require the person drawing them to carry out a variety of brief learning tasks or to reflect on their own experience with teasing and bullying.

3. “What to think?” cards: Each card contains a thought bubble featuring a particular thought or belief that can increase the harm caused by the unkindness of peers. The task is to try to counter the harmful thought with one or more “antidote thoughts.” (These cognitive behavioral therapy concepts in reference to children with autism are explained in a series of other blog posts with useful downloads.) A good way to use these cards is for you, the adult, to play the role of a child who endorses the thought in the thought bubble. The child(ren) then have to talk you out of this way of thinking.

Options on using the cards:

*You can shuffle up the cards and have kids draw them at random.

*You can keep the cards in three separate piles and have kids draw from one pile or the other based on how they roll a dice.

*You can select and discard cards and distribute the cards within the deck strategically so that the participants will draw cards that help them with their most difficult issues.

*If you don’t wish to use the cards, I invite you nevertheless to borrow the content of the cards in your own therapy/teaching. I tried to cover a lot of issues that affect children with ASD in reference to teasing and bullying.

This social skills topic is going to be really hard work both for your clients with ASD and for you as well. I hope these free social skills materials help. Good luck with it.

Joel Shaul, LCSW

This kit is also available in Polish

If you don’t want to print and cut out all these materials, download the Teasing and Bullying Kit, PowerPoint Version

Your comments on these resources are most welcome, and often helpful. Click HERE to send an email.

April 16, 2012June 27, 2026

“Control-o-meter” social skills tool for kids with autism, helps with voice volume, other behavior

volume regulation method for children with autism

To download this free, printable resource, click on this red link below:

Control Meters Download for Voice Volume

Control de Volumen de Voz para niños con autismo

Voice Volume Meter, Hebrew Translation

There is another download available for easily custom-designing your own behavior meters. Check it out!

Customizable Behavior Meter Templates – Click HERE

Meter for Exploring Obsession with Fantasy – Click HERE

Joel Shaul, LCSW

*Don’t miss these other free social skills / conversation games, activities, worksheets and printables for kids with autism:

Free social skills games & activities, communication / conversation skills for kids with ASD

Free social skills games & activities, social interaction skills for kids with ASD

Free social skills games & activities, emotional regulation skills for kids with ASD

Your comments on these resources are most welcome, and often helpful. Click HERE to send an email.

April 4, 2012July 10, 2026

Flexibility in kids with ASD – Card activity to teach this social skill to children on the autism spectrum

Children with autism spectrum disorders often experience challenges relate to rigidity. They can find if difficult dealing with changes and trying things new ways. Children on the autism spectrum can find it hard to imagine the points of view of other people and they often don’t make accurate predictions about how others will react to their own strong opinions.

The free resource featured here is one of many I offer to help raise awareness regarding rigidity and flexibility in social situations.

To print out the 36 cards and the two panels, click here:

Flexibility Cards, Activity to explore rigidity

Also available in POLISH language version

*But in case you prefer to “show” this activity rather than print it and cut it out, click below instead:

Flexibility Cards PowerPoint Version

When you print out the cards, I suggest you use cardstock or else paper which you will then laminate.

The two panels describing Rigidity and Flexibility can be used separately as a wall display or teaching aid, if you don’t intend to use the cards.

Suggestions on how to introduce the topic of Rigidity:

1. I suggest that you select your terminology carefully. Many kids with ASD learning the social skill of flexibility might not have the capacity to learn and use words such as “rigidity,” flexibility,” “cooperate,” “compromise,” etc. Far more children will be able to grasp the meaning of simpler words like “stubborn,” “bossy,” “get along with,” “let others have their way,” etc.

2. Try using language like this when starting on this topic:

“Some things around us are hard. What are some objects in this room that are hard? Other things are soft. Name some soft objects in this room. Now let’s talk about how things that we cannot see can also be hard or soft. Like our thoughts. Here are some words for thoughts that are HARD: Bossy, stubborn, [rigid], unchanging. Here are some words for thoughts that are SOFT: Flexible, agree, willing to change, willing to try, [cooperate]. Sometimes it is okay or good to to be stubborn and bossy. Like if someone is trying to get you to do something really bad, it’s great to be really stubborn and say no. Sometimes it feels really good to do something the same way over and over to make you feel safe and calm. But very often, it is not good to be rigid. Being rigid can keep you from doing good, new things. Being rigid can annoy other people. Being rigid can keep you from having friends.”

3. I have a children’s YouTube video on Rigidity – This might be a good introduction to this topic.

How to use the cards:

The cards are designed to help kids with autism to learn more about the social skills of flexibility associated with accepting other people’s thoughts and ideas and dealing with unexpected and unwanted changes. You can shuffle the cards randomly or else “stack the deck” so that cards most fitting for the child(ren) present will be drawn. Remove from the deck any cards you don’t consider relevant.

My first suggestion is that you do lots of role plays when you are doing this social skills game activity. For example, you, the adult, can pretend to be the rigid person depicted in the card. You can do the role play with another adult or with the children who are present. My second suggestion is that you strongly reinforce children when they show awareness of their own rigid traits. You can try passing out tokens or keeping score in some way to acknowledge learning about flexibility and admitting to rigid habits.

Below the downloads, you will find some links to other downloadable social skills activities on the website that particularly focus autism social skills having to do with rigidity.

I hope you enjoy this social skills activity.

Joel Shaul, LCSW

There are dozens of other free social skills games, worksheets and card activities you can download for children on the autism spectrum. Don’t miss them!

Free social skills games & activities, communication / conversation skills for kids with ASD

Free social skills games & activities, social interaction skills for kids with ASD

Free social skills games & activities, emotional regulation skills for kids with ASD

Your comments on these resources are most welcome, and often helpful. Click HERE to send an email.

March 31, 2012July 7, 2026

TALK less and SHOW more: Many kids with autism need fewer words in social skills teaching

Many children with autism spectrum disorders can get bogged down with our spoken teaching. In this blog post, I offer some guidance on how to establish a visual oriented social skills training style for those children on the autism spectrum who appear to favor this modality.If you work a lot with children who have autism spectrum disorders, you have seen the following: A child listens to your words for a short time, and then their brain hits a kind of inner mute button, and your session or lesson is effectively finished.

button created by autistic woman — An autistic woman who at times finds verbal communication overwhelming (her website is shown on the bottom of this button) creates and sells cool jewelry, including buttons featuring visual prompts

There can be a number of reasons for this. We might be using boring words, speaking too fast, using language that is too complex, or neglecting to reference the child’s preferred interests. But a common reason for “losing your audience” in social skills training with kids on the autism spectrum is that many kids with ASD seem to learn better in a visual modality. Temple Grandin is a well-known example of a person with autism who learns visually. She articulates this beautifully in this quote: “When I think about abstract concepts such as relationships with people, I use visual images such as a sliding glass door. Relationships should be approached gently because barging forward too quickly might shatter the door.” (From Teaching Children with Autism, by Kathleen Ann Quail )

Temple Grandin, autistic person with visual learning style — Temple Grandin

There are certainly many children with autism who do not learn in a visual manner like Temple Grandin. But for the ones who do, I believe is important to keep on hand a variety of engaging and meaningful props for your social skills learning activities. Here are a few examples.

For many kids with ASD, our frequent verbal prompts regarding nonverbal factors just become part of the unwanted noise they tune out. But when you keep on hand pictures of eyes, hands, a face and a ruler, and use these as visual prompts during social skills activities, you can get much better attention and retention.

Children with ASD can tune out our words after years and years of verbally prompting to talk less, talk more, stop talking about that, and so forth. For individuals who might be withering under all this scrutiny and badgering, try a social skills teaching approach. This toy balance, available for about 15 dollars online, is terrific for social skills activities to teach reciprocity in conversation and relationships. Learn more about this here.

I invite you to explore dozens of other visual-based, engaging autism social skills training methods on this website.

Here is a one minute video that explains much of this.

Joel Shaul

Your comments on these resources are most welcome, and often helpful. Click HERE to send an email.

March 27, 2012June 27, 2026

Teaching children with autism the social skill of discerning silly from serious

A free downloadable kit to help children with ASD to increase awareness of different levels of formality

Silly to Serious Explanation and Panels

Silly to Serious cards only

Silly to Serious Set, PowerPoint Version

This is also available in Polish

Young people with other autism spectrum disorders often struggle to understand what I call “levels of formality” in social situations. In a milieu where a serious bearing might be indicated for a child, a young person on the autism spectrum might behave and speak in a casual and informal manner. For some kids with ASD, the opposite can occur also, and they can at times act too proper around peers where more laid back words and actions would be more appropriate.

There are several reasons why children on the autism spectrum find this set of social skills hard to grasp. First, they tend to not easily understand the subtleties of social hierarchies and how they themselves rank within them. Second, a child with ASD often tends to have difficulty making quick shifts in attention, so if such a child is transitioned suddenly from, say, playing Wii to meeting Mom’s boss who has just stopped by the house, the child might find it extremely difficult to alter his behavior and words quickly enough. Third, many kids with autism have difficulty regulating extremes of emotion. Exerting control over feelings of excitement can be hard for them.

To help children with ASD to learn this social skill, I find it very helpful to divide levels of formality into four different levels. They are basically defined in the visual above. Then, you can help the child by saying, “We’re going into Chucky Cheese. You can be level 1 in there.” Or, at a big family get-together, you can help the child by saying, “In the backyard pool, that’s a level one. When we go inside to see great-grandpa, who is sick, that is a level 3.”

What is included in the Silly to Serious Card Activity:

1. A set of eight 8 1/2 by 11 illustrated panels

components of this ASD social skills activitiy — These are the Silly to Serious visual and word prompts for the four levels. You post them on the wall or lay them on the floor. The visuals shown here can be used alone with kids on the spectrum for social skills lessons. Printing out the socials cards below is recommended if you want to make a game out of it.These are the Silly to Serious social skills cards. There are 32. Each card poses a question or sets up a role play. These are the Silly to Serious social skills cards. There are 32. Each card poses a question or sets up a role play.

2. A set of 32 question cards you use in a game-like format to increase awareness of levels of formality in diverse social situations.

How to introduce the activity:

“People can’t be serious all the time when they are around other people. People can’t be silly all the time either. They have to be the right amount of serious or silly, depending on who they are with and what is happening.”

Now, show the Level Cards to the kids and help them to understand the varieties of social situations within each of the levels. Practice greetings and goodbyes within each of the levels. As you get into this, you may easily find you have enough to do for one or two classes or sessions without even getting to the card activity.

“We are going to play the Silly to Serious game. There are four different kinds of cards in this deck, and when you draw a card you have to do what the card says.

If you draw a “What Level” card, you have to figure out which of the four levels the person in the card is going through.

If you draw a “Fix the Mistake” card, you have to find out how the person in the card is either too serious or too silly and then fix their problem.

If you draw a “Your Own Life” card, you have to answer the question about about YOU.

If you draw an “Act it Out” the card, you have to act out what the card tells you to act out.”

I hope this social skills activity is helpful for you.

Joel Shaul, LCSW

Your comments on these resources are most welcome, and often helpful. Click HERE to send an email.

March 23, 2012June 27, 2026

Eye contact in children with autism – Times to AVOID it in social skills teaching with kids on the autism spectrum

Teachers, mental health professionals and speech and language therapists all work hard to help children on the autism spectrum to improve their use of face and eye contact. However, when we rigidly insist on eye contact, we actually risk diminishing engagement in our social skill teaching activities.

All of us who are experienced in teaching young people with ASD becomes aware of this dilemma. Children with ASD ought to enhance their orientation towards others strategically in order to get more useful information during conversation. But for so many kids on the autism spectrum, practicing this social skill comes at the price of increased distress and anxiety – and decreased attention to your social skills learning activity!

Brian R. King, LCSW, a psychotherapist with autism, provides some useful insights and advice on this topic in his book, Strategies for Building Successful Relationships with People on the Autism Spectrum. As an individual with ASD, he finds prolonged eye contact uncomfortable and actually a hindrance to communication. He notes that blind people function quite adequately in conversation without the benefit of eye contact.

I have devised here a series of visuals to suggest alternatives to traditional face-to-face teaching when we are counseling and teaching children with autism spectrum disorders.

I hope you find these ideas helpful.

Joel Shaul, LCSW

traditional face to face eye contact — This is more or less the way I was trained as a psychotherapist thirty years ago.

Face, child look away — Here is one alternative. The child with autism may be able to concentrate better on what you are saying.

Face, both look away — Here, you are dispensing with most eye contact and both you and the child with ASD are looking at the same computer screen, IPAD or other instructional visual

Face, holding cards — In my own work, I keep on hand dozens of meaningful visuals. For some kids on the spectrum, it is more productive to teach by having us both look at the same object than for us to look at each others’ eyes.

March 17, 2012June 27, 2026

Pie chart visuals: Great social skills tool to help kids with ASD to talk MORE or LESS in groups or class

autism social skills speech therapy — For children on the autism spectrum who talk too much – or too little – in group situations, this is a useful visual strategy.

Children with autism who talk too much or too little in group situations

Neurotypical people find this skills difficult also! Remember that person who would not stop talking at the last party you went to? Young people with autism spectrum disorders can find reciprocal conversation skills particularly perplexing. They may say little or nothing on the playground or in class discussions. Or they may hold forth in a lecture of monologue fashion, not noticing the signs that others are becoming impatient.

Often, explaining a social skill combined with a meaningful visual will make a lot more sense for a child on the autism spectrum. This particular visual can be very helpful. If you make a few copies of the pie chart sheets below, I believe you will use them often.

How to create the pie chart visuals:

Follow the pdf download instructions below:

Pie chart prompts & directions

Grafico para la toma de turnos y conversaciones proporcionales en grupos

Polish language translation

How to use the pie chart visuals:

*Use simple language while describing the sheets. For example: “When people talk together, it’s like people sharing a pie [or cake or whatever in case the kid does not like pie!]. Everybody gets their turn to take their share. If one person is talking too much and not letting others talk, it’s not fair. He is “using up all the words.” Also, if somebody is just listening and is not sharing their own thoughts and words with the others, that’s not good. Everybody’s ideas are important.”

*One way to help a child who lectures and monologues in your class or group is to ask him to become your “helper.” Prepare for him the blank circle sheet below, and divide it into the number of kids who are present in your class or group. If you like, you can write into each “slice” the names of each person present. Then, you can ask the child to shade in with a pencil the various slices as the various children speak. This directs the attention of the monologuing child towards what others are saying and raises his awareness of proportion and reciprocity in group conversation.

I wish you success with this simple visual technique for helping kids with ASD to have better group conversation skills.

Joel Shaul, LCSW

Here is a related conversation social skills resource for reciprocity in conversation, but for when just two people are talking.

Using a Toy Balance for Talking Back & Forth

Your comments on these resources are most welcome, and often helpful. Click HERE to send an email.