empathy - Social Skills Activities for Children with Autism

May 27, 2013June 27, 2026

Showing Concern: Empathy social skills lessons, downloads for children on the autism spectrum

To download the illustrated panels shown below, please click on the red link below:

Showing Concern Wall Display Download

To download 22 picture cards to practice showing concern, click on this next link below:

Showing Concern Picture Cards

Autistic children and showing concern for others / empathy

Children on the autism spectrum often have great difficulty with this important skill. They often spend less time observing others than typical children, and they might not notice another person’s distress. They often are perplexed by the typical signs of upset feelings in another person. They might have normal feelings of sympathy for the other person, but they might be at a loss regarding the necessity to express concern and the social conventions for going about it.

It is well known that there is quite a lot of variability in the distribution of empathy skills both among autistic people and among neurotypical people. But even autistic children who have a refined sense of feeling for others may lack in willingness and ability to show their concern and display it tactfully.

How to use the illustrated panels:

You can use them as a wall display. You can also use them in preparation for role play practice.

I hope you find these materials useful.

Using the Showing Concern Wall Display panels in combination with the Showing Concern Picture Cards:

It is very useful to use both these resources together.

Joel Shaul, LCSW

Your comments on these resources are most welcome, and often helpful. Click HERE to send an email.

February 19, 2012June 27, 2026

Empathy autism social skills training, Part 2: Teaching concern using photos (22 downloads for you here)

In this download, there are 22 photographs of people in distress, accompanied by very simple word descriptions. These are to help set up role plays for practicing empathy / showing concern skills with children on the autism spectrum. It is very useful to use the Showing Concern Picture Cards in combination with the Showing Concern Wall Display.

To download the Showing Concern Wall Display, please click on the link below:

Showing Concern Wall Display Download

To download 22 picture cards to practice showing concern, click on this next link below:

Showing Concern Picture Cards

Suggestions on using these empathy social skills materials:

Use the panels in the Wall Display, especially the one showing specific things to say, as word prompts.

Role play where you, the adult, play the person in distress

Role play where pairs of children play roles of distressed person and helper

Role play where you play the role of the person showing concern, but you make mistakes when you do it–with eye contact, tone of voice, what you say, etc. The kids watch and point out your mistakes. Have the kids point out your mistakes.

Joel Shaul, LCSW

Your comments on these resources are most welcome, and often helpful. Click HERE to send an email.

Green Zone Book Cover Click to Learn More

March 12, 2011June 27, 2026

Help The Upset Person: A cognitive-behavioral group game

Download this resource:

Help the upset person activity

Years after I designed the Help the Upset Person Activity, I designed this similar – but much better game . You should probably check out The Fix The Problem Game instead. Click on the picture below to see it.

This is an engaging and entertaining cognitive-behavioral teaching strategy on the topic of emotional regulation.
Here is how to do it:

Here is how to present the activity to your client/student, small group, or class:

“When people are worried, or sad, or disappointed, or mad, they can help themselves to feel better. They do this by thinking certain things, doing certain things, and saying certain things. Here is a game where you get to be the one to help an upset person to calm down.

I am going to pretend to be different upset kids. Your job is to tell me what to THINK, what to DO, and what to SAY to help solve my problem.

If you give me good, helpful advice on what to think, do and say, then I will hold the picture of the upset person lower and lower. If you give me advice that makes my problem worse, or doesn’t help at all, I will raise the picture higher and higher.

If the picture ends up this high [way above your head], then you have lost the game.

If the picture gets all the way down by my knees, then you have done a great job and you have won the game.”
Here are situations you can use for your enactments of the upset person role plays:

Young person who is upset because children on the playground suddenly decide to change the kickball rules to allow five bases instead of three
Young person who is upset because a substitute teacher is not following the normal routine and is not listening to the young person’s advice
Young person is upset because the bakery delivered a defective cake to his birthday party—a Pikachu cake that is blue instead of yellow. (Or, pick a local sports team’s colors and the bakery messes up the colors )
Young person is sad and hopeless because, although he is doing his best to fit in and socialize with peers, he has been unsuccessful
Young person who is on the bus on the way to the first day of a summer day camp, feeling apprehensive about new activities and the prospect of social failure

Joel Shaul, LCSW

February 25, 2011June 27, 2026

Words hurt, words help

To download the two worksheets shown below, click on the links below:

Words Hurt, Words Help Worksheets Download

[In German: Worte-tun-weh-Worte-helfen]

[In Polish]

[In Hebrew]

When I work with children with ASD on social skills, I often ask them: “How long will another person remember what you do or what you say?” A typical answer I get is: “About five minutes.” These answers are enlightening. Frequently, young people with ASD have the impression that other people just don’t remember too many details about what other people say and do. A young man who sometimes neglected to button his shirt insisted that no one ever noticed. “And even if they did see my shirt unbuttoned, they would just forget in a second.”

Young people on the autism spectrum may experience difficulty understanding the social consequences of their words and actions. This lack of awareness can affect them in several ways. First, the child with ASD may be less likely to say something encouraging or complimentary to another person. Second, the child may fail to discern the harmful effects of hurtful words, and blurt out “unfiltered” statements with harsh, judgmental or violent content. The combination of these distorted beliefs lowers their motivation to make good impressions and also lowers their conviction that altering their own words and behavior really makes any difference anyhow.

When we try to help children with autism increase their ability to use kind words and refrain from hurtful ones, it seems very helpful to use clear visuals. It also helps to equate the other person’s emotional pain and pleasure to physical pain and pleasure. My clients seem to “get” that other people feel physical pain and pleasure much better than they understand other people’s emotional pain and pleasure.

I developed these illustrated social story worksheets to help children to realize that their words have the power to hurt and to help, and that their words and actions matter.

Joel Shaul, LCSW

Words Help worksheet — .[Years after creating these worksheets, I wrote an illustrated book for children with ASD about social cause and effect. It is called *Our Brains are Like Computers*. To learn more about it, click HERE.

Here is another set of free social skills worksheets on the topic of social cause and effect and what others remember: Pencil Memories and Pen Memories

Pencil Memories / Pen Memories Social Cause and Effect Worksheets

Your comments on these resources are most welcome, and often helpful. Click HERE to send an email.