social skills training - Social Skills Activities for Children with Autism

January 30, 2012July 14, 2026

Filter the Anger: A hands-on social skills activity to help kids with autism to manage angry verbal outbursts

In social skills training in schools and psychotherapy settings, young people on the autism spectrum often struggle with controlling angry verbal outbursts. This is a cut-out paper kit that creates a hands-on activity to teach and practice filtering upsetting thoughts and avoiding blurting out things that are frightening or confusing to others.The Filter the Anger Activity is designed to:

* Raise awareness of okay vs. not-okay things to say when you are mad

*Introduce and reinforce the idea that thoughts can be “filtered” before they are turned into words.

To create the materials for this free activity, click on these free download links:

Filter the upsetting thoughts kit

Übung-zum-Filtern-verbaler-Ausbrüche

This kit is also available in Polish.

Filter the upsetting thoughts kit, on-screen version for teletherapy

Sample introduction to this activity:

“When we are upset, we can have many, many upsetting thoughts going through their mind, very quickly. The thoughts can be so many, and so powerful, that they can “escape” out of your mouth if you are not careful. Your mind has a filter in it, to help us to say the right things, instead of every one of our thoughts to rush out of our mouths.”

(Now describe a filter; depends on knowledge level of participants. Show them the filter visual)

“There are different kinds of filters.” (have them name some: coffee filter, water filter, oil filter, etc. If you have a prop to demonstrate a filter now, that is good—try a colander, a coffee filter, etc)

“You can’t see the filter in your brain, but the way it works is kind of the same. It is especially important to use your brain’s filter when you are upset or angry, so that you say things that are good, and get you help, and so you avoid saying things that frighten, confuse or anger other people.”

How to use the upset thought strips: On a big table or on the floor, have the participant(s) sort the statements into things that are okay to say, sometimes okay to say, and almost never okay to say. Use the “Filter These Out” and “You can say these” visuals to help them with the sorting.

Usually, the child will spontaneously start talking about times they made unfiltered angry statements. This provides opportunities for learning and adds a visual dimension that is very helpful.

Variations: You, the adult, can try acting out the role of an upset person who is not succeeding in filtering his words. Ask the young participants to help you to filter what you say. Ask them to offer you alternative ways to express your upset feelings.

This is a good teaching/therapy activity for social skills training and anger management for kids autism spectrum disorders. I hope you find it helpful.

Joel Shaul, LCSW

Here are some related free activities for increasing awareness of social filters, anger management and cause and effect in relationships:

What I should Have Done Different Worksheet

Emotion Thermometers

Customizable Meters for Awareness of Negative Behaviors

Words Hurt/Words Help Worksheets

Pencil / Pen Memories Worksheets

Your comments on these resources are most welcome, and often helpful. Click HERE to send an email.

January 29, 2012June 27, 2026

Game-like elements for teaching social skills to children with Asperger’s and other autism spectrum disorders, Part 1

Teaching social skills to children with autism spectrum disorders can be much more effective when it is engaging and fun. By the time children with autism ends up in our classrooms or psychotherapy offices, they are often feeling pretty weary and discouraged with their problems. If we don’t introduce some elements of levity, we may lose their attention altogether.

Here are some tips for making your social skills training engaging and “game-like.” Much of this is summarized in this Youtube video, check it out: http://bit.ly/x9TvvO

Dice — Use the element of chance to make your social skills teaching seem like a social skills game

Introduce the element of chance. A simple way to do this is to use some dice, or a blank spinner (available from teacher supply stores).

Here is an example: “Kids, we are going to play the compliment game today. A compliment is when you say something nice to someone about how they look, or about what they do, or about how they are. When it is your turn, if you roll a one or two with the dice, you have to give someone a compliment here about how they look. If you roll a three or a four, give a compliment to someone about what they are doing. If you roll a five or a six, give a compliment to someone about how they are (nice, funny, smart, fast, clever, etc.)”

Customize a blank spinner to create social skills games for students/clients on the autism spectrum

You can download this cool play money that I made! Click here.

2. Use tokens or scoring systems. These fall into two categories. The first kind of scoring system is to give out token objects (play money, marbles, etc.). These you have the kids keep in cups so they are not overly distracted by them. The second scoring system is to create a score board. Simply write the names of the children on a dry erase board, and add a hatch mark next to their names each time they score. (This is the preferred system if your kids on the autism spectrum get distracted by wanting to touch and handle the token items.)

Game-like, levels — Use “levels” to add interest to social skills lessons and social skills training

3. Use achievement levels. Most kids on the autism spectrum play a lot of video games. Video games are usually all about “levels” and getting from one level to the next. Here is an example of how to incorporate this into an activity teaching compliments: “Kids, there are three levels of giving compliments. We are going to play a compliment game. Who will get to level three? Level one is easy. You say something nice about how someone looks. Level two is harder. You have to say something nice about the thing the person is doing. Level three is the top level. You have to know the person well enough to know their special inside qualities, like “Generous,” “Smart,” or “Helpful.”

Game-like, Emcee — Create a “game show” to turn the social skills lesson into a social skills game

4. Build in Game-show elements. Children with autism spectrum disorders seem to appreciate it when their counselor or teacher is willing to pretend to be a game show host. Copy and print out the picture of the game show guy shown in the picture above, and stick it on the wall. If you want to get fancy, play game show music. Here is a link to Jeopardy music sound clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXGhvoekY44 Then, abandon your professional decorum , and say something like this: “Kids, welcome to the Elmhurst School Game Show. I am your host, Ms. Apple. Today, we are going to test people’s ability to give compliments. Please welcome our first contestant, Tiffany. Tiffany, come on down!”

I wish you good luck with introducing levity and game-like qualities to your social skills training for kids on the autism spectrum.

Joel Shaul, LCSW

Your comments on these resources are most welcome, and often helpful. Click HERE to send an email.

January 22, 2012June 27, 2026

Using chain and building images to promote “connected” conversation

To download the pdf of this free resource, click on the RED link on the next line.

Chain & Building Girders Conversation Activities Download

Polish language translation of this resource

Chain Conversation Kit, On-Screen Version for Telehealth

Don’t miss dozens of other free social skills games, worksheets, speech activities and printables!

Free social skills games & activities, communication / conversation skills for kids with ASD

Free social skills games & activities, social interaction skills for kids with ASD

Free social skills games & activities, emotional regulation skills for kids with ASD

Your comments on these resources are most welcome, and often helpful. Click HERE to send an email.

March 12, 2011June 27, 2026

Help The Upset Person: A cognitive-behavioral group game

Download this resource:

Help the upset person activity

Years after I designed the Help the Upset Person Activity, I designed this similar – but much better game . You should probably check out The Fix The Problem Game instead. Click on the picture below to see it.

This is an engaging and entertaining cognitive-behavioral teaching strategy on the topic of emotional regulation.
Here is how to do it:

Here is how to present the activity to your client/student, small group, or class:

“When people are worried, or sad, or disappointed, or mad, they can help themselves to feel better. They do this by thinking certain things, doing certain things, and saying certain things. Here is a game where you get to be the one to help an upset person to calm down.

I am going to pretend to be different upset kids. Your job is to tell me what to THINK, what to DO, and what to SAY to help solve my problem.

If you give me good, helpful advice on what to think, do and say, then I will hold the picture of the upset person lower and lower. If you give me advice that makes my problem worse, or doesn’t help at all, I will raise the picture higher and higher.

If the picture ends up this high [way above your head], then you have lost the game.

If the picture gets all the way down by my knees, then you have done a great job and you have won the game.”
Here are situations you can use for your enactments of the upset person role plays:

Young person who is upset because children on the playground suddenly decide to change the kickball rules to allow five bases instead of three
Young person who is upset because a substitute teacher is not following the normal routine and is not listening to the young person’s advice
Young person is upset because the bakery delivered a defective cake to his birthday party—a Pikachu cake that is blue instead of yellow. (Or, pick a local sports team’s colors and the bakery messes up the colors )
Young person is sad and hopeless because, although he is doing his best to fit in and socialize with peers, he has been unsuccessful
Young person who is on the bus on the way to the first day of a summer day camp, feeling apprehensive about new activities and the prospect of social failure

Joel Shaul, LCSW

February 27, 2011June 27, 2026

Using a rope to demonstrate “social ties” for children with autism

Many young people on the autism spectrum can get confused regarding personal space when they are walking together with other people. Professionals working with youth on the spectrum in therapeutic recreation programs encounter these problems frequently. At a mall or on a trail in a park, it is not uncommon for some individuals to remain rather solitary during these group outings. Some dart ahead of the group, restless and lost in thought. Others lag far behind, examining an interesting flower, stone or store merchandise. In either case, they are not well acquainted with the set of skills associated with walking together, keeping appropriate distance from others and conversing with them. A big rope, about fifteen feet long, is a very useful visual device for increasing awareness of “connectedness” during outings. Before the walk, you can get together with the young people and say something like this, using the rope as your prop: “When people are together on a walk, it’s like they are connected together by an invisible rope. Even though they are all walking separately using their own legs, they are also walking together. If you get too far behind the other people, then if they think of something interesting to tell you or show you, you are too far away to hear them. They might feel like you are slowing them down. If you run ahead, the people you are with might feel like you are trying to get away from them or rush them. When you are walking with your friends, try to stay between this distance … and this distance.” [Here us where you have everyone gather around, and you use your rope to show “too far ahead” and “too far behind.”] Later, when I am on the walk following this mini-lesson employing the rope, I use a “hauling in the rope” pantomime gesture to remind kids who are drifting away that they need to remain “tied together” with their companions. I hope you this visual-based social skills training method is helpful for your students and clients on the autism spectrum.

Joel Shaul, LCSW

Your comments on these resources are most welcome, and often helpful. Click HERE to send an email.

February 25, 2011June 27, 2026

Words hurt, words help

To download the two worksheets shown below, click on the links below:

Words Hurt, Words Help Worksheets Download

[In German: Worte-tun-weh-Worte-helfen]

[In Polish]

[In Hebrew]

When I work with children with ASD on social skills, I often ask them: “How long will another person remember what you do or what you say?” A typical answer I get is: “About five minutes.” These answers are enlightening. Frequently, young people with ASD have the impression that other people just don’t remember too many details about what other people say and do. A young man who sometimes neglected to button his shirt insisted that no one ever noticed. “And even if they did see my shirt unbuttoned, they would just forget in a second.”

Young people on the autism spectrum may experience difficulty understanding the social consequences of their words and actions. This lack of awareness can affect them in several ways. First, the child with ASD may be less likely to say something encouraging or complimentary to another person. Second, the child may fail to discern the harmful effects of hurtful words, and blurt out “unfiltered” statements with harsh, judgmental or violent content. The combination of these distorted beliefs lowers their motivation to make good impressions and also lowers their conviction that altering their own words and behavior really makes any difference anyhow.

When we try to help children with autism increase their ability to use kind words and refrain from hurtful ones, it seems very helpful to use clear visuals. It also helps to equate the other person’s emotional pain and pleasure to physical pain and pleasure. My clients seem to “get” that other people feel physical pain and pleasure much better than they understand other people’s emotional pain and pleasure.

I developed these illustrated social story worksheets to help children to realize that their words have the power to hurt and to help, and that their words and actions matter.

Joel Shaul, LCSW

Words Help worksheet — .[Years after creating these worksheets, I wrote an illustrated book for children with ASD about social cause and effect. It is called *Our Brains are Like Computers*. To learn more about it, click HERE.

Here is another set of free social skills worksheets on the topic of social cause and effect and what others remember: Pencil Memories and Pen Memories

Pencil Memories / Pen Memories Social Cause and Effect Worksheets

Your comments on these resources are most welcome, and often helpful. Click HERE to send an email.

February 13, 2011June 27, 2026

Compliment tag, game to teach kids with ASD an important social skill

Many young people on the autism spectrum have difficulties with the skill of giving and receiving compliments. They might not see the point in saying something kind or flattering to another person. They tend to miss opportunities to use kind words to strengthen relationships with others.

Here is a fun and hilarious game I have used with all ages of kids, from six to 18.

Tell the kids: “This is Compliment Tag. A compliment is when you say something nice to someone — about the way they look, something they have, something they did, something they said, or they way they are. When you play Compliment Tag, the person who is “it” tries to tag you. To keep from becoming “it,” you have to give this person a compliment quickly before they tag you. If they tag you before you can give them a compliment, then you are ‘it.’ ”

Easy Compliment Tag: Compliment something the person is wearing, hair, shoes, appearance.

Harder Compliment Tag: Compliment something the person is good at.

This is a social skills activity for kids on the autism spectrum that seldom fails to engage kids. Enjoy it.

Joel Shaul, LCSW

Here are some other free social skills resources for children with ASD to teach giving compliments.

Validation “Cool, Awesome” Word Prompts

Compliment Worksheets

Compliment Picture Panels

Say Something Nice Board Game

Paper Fortune Teller for Compliments

Your comments on these resources are most welcome, and often helpful. Click HERE to send an email.

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February 13, 2011June 27, 2026

Welcome to Autism Teaching Strategies

I’m glad you found this website and blog.

I love learning about social skills training for young people with autism, and sharing ideas with other professionals who do similar work. In this blog, I will be passing on some of what I have learned.

In this blog, I share lots of ideas on how to help young people on the autism spectrum with communication, relationship skills and regulation of emotion. I offer dozens of resources for that you can download for free. Some are are also available here in German, Spanish and French and most are available in Polish.

Come back often. Let’s interact. Take away a few ideas, and leave a few of your own if you like.

Joel Shaul, LCSW

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