social skills group - Social Skills Activities for Children with Autism

January 21, 2012July 11, 2026

Missing Objects Game–Social skills therapy for kids with ASD

This is an easy, fun and very useful social skills game to help kids on the autism spectrum to learn how to encourage others. Children on the autism spectrum often need help learning to use kind and encouraging words. This is a “game within a game.” The object is to remember what item is missing when it is removed when the player is not looking. The underlying game is to “score” lots of encouraging remarks to the other player when they are playing and it is not your turn.

To download the encouragement word prompt cards for this activity, click HERE.

***To download the on-screen / teletherapy version of this activity,* *click here.***

To access the Boom Card version of this activity, click here.

Assemble a collection of eight to twelve very small objects (very small toys, or even just assorted items out
of a desk drawer).

Here is the collection of random objects I keep handy so that I can play The Missing Objects Game with kids on the autism spectrum whenever I feel like it.
Print out the Encouragement Word Prompts and keep them handy to display during the game.
Tell the kids:

“We are going to play the Missing Objects Game. This is a memory game that works like this. I will place on the table these small objects. When it is your turn, you will get one half a minute to look at the objects and try to remember them. Then, we will ask you to step out of the room for a few seconds. While you are out, we will take away just one of the objects. Then, you must try to figure out which object is missing! This can be hard!While you are trying to remember what object is missing, the other kids have an important job. They have to try their best to say nice things to you, to encourage you and to make you feel okay if you can’t figure out which object is missing. I will keep track of who is being the nicest, and I will decide then who is first, second and third place at being nice and “encouraging” to the person who is trying to find the missing object.”

4. Hold up the various encouraging phrase prompts to help the kids know what to say to the child who is trying to remember what is the “missing object.”

I have found that kids really try hard to be the one who does the best “encouraging” and that this becomes the main point of the game instead of correctly remembering the missing object.

Get out the encouragement prompts to use on other occasions when such skills are called for.

[Reference: This is derived from a social skills book called Superskills, by Judith Couccouvanis.]

Joel Shaul, LCSW

Your comments on these resources are most welcome, and often helpful. Click HERE to send an email.

January 20, 2012June 27, 2026

Minting New Thoughts: Engaging CBT Activity for kids with ASD and others

Here is a great activity for individuals or groups of kids to introduce or expand on how to cope with upsetting feelings. It uses the metaphor of paper money that is first minted, and then shredded if it is defective or worn out. To do the Mint New Thoughts activity you need to print out lots of the special play money (the link for the download play money is found below) and a paper shredder (or you can just tear up the old money).

Print out the OLD THOUGHT money and NEW THOUGHT money in quantities large enough for each participant to have about six to use. To download and print the money, click here:

Mint-New-Thoughts-Activity-download Download

This kit is available in Polish

Spanish: Acuñar nuevos pensamientos

For free access to an excellent Boom Card version of this resource, click HERE.

To introduce this activity:

Try using language like this: “Did you ever wonder where money comes from, and what happens to it when it is no good anymore? Money comes from a huge printing factory called a “mint.” All of our money comes from these places called mints.

“Often, when the money is not printed right, they have to destroy it. They use something like the paper shredders you see in an office. Also, other money gets worn out, and they have to shred that money too.

“To replace the destroyed money, the mint prints brand new money.

Your mind is something like a mint that makes money, except your mind makes thoughts instead of dollars. Hundreds of thoughts, thousands of thoughts, every day. Most of the thoughts are good and helpful to you. But some kinds of thoughts aren’t good because they just make you upset too much. When you get these thoughts, they are like bad or worn-out money that needs to be destroyed. Then, you need new and better thoughts to make you feel good and calm instead of upset.”

Now, show the kids how to fill out the OLD THOUGHT money. If you have not already introduced the kids to “poison” and “antidote” thoughts, you will want to do this slowly and carefully. There are lots of other CBT resources available on the website.
Have the kids fill out the NEW THOUGHT money now. Provide plenty of extra blank money for them to practice. Tell them that they can use more than one NEW THOUGHT to replace the OLD THOUGHT.
Have the kids run the old money through a paper shredder. If you have the opportunity to work outside and actually burn them, like on a charcoal grill, this really gets kids’ attention.
If you like, you can laminate the new money now, and with the kids’ permission, display it.

To access a summary of all the CBT materials on this website, click HERE.

Derived from a method described in Cognitive Therapy with Children and Adolescents, ed. By Reinecke, Dattilio and Freeman, 2006, Guilford Press.

Joel Shaul, LCSW

Your comments on these resources are most welcome, and often helpful. Click HERE to send an email.

March 12, 2011June 27, 2026

Help The Upset Person: A cognitive-behavioral group game

Download this resource:

Help the upset person activity

Years after I designed the Help the Upset Person Activity, I designed this similar – but much better game . You should probably check out The Fix The Problem Game instead. Click on the picture below to see it.

This is an engaging and entertaining cognitive-behavioral teaching strategy on the topic of emotional regulation.
Here is how to do it:

Here is how to present the activity to your client/student, small group, or class:

“When people are worried, or sad, or disappointed, or mad, they can help themselves to feel better. They do this by thinking certain things, doing certain things, and saying certain things. Here is a game where you get to be the one to help an upset person to calm down.

I am going to pretend to be different upset kids. Your job is to tell me what to THINK, what to DO, and what to SAY to help solve my problem.

If you give me good, helpful advice on what to think, do and say, then I will hold the picture of the upset person lower and lower. If you give me advice that makes my problem worse, or doesn’t help at all, I will raise the picture higher and higher.

If the picture ends up this high [way above your head], then you have lost the game.

If the picture gets all the way down by my knees, then you have done a great job and you have won the game.”
Here are situations you can use for your enactments of the upset person role plays:

Young person who is upset because children on the playground suddenly decide to change the kickball rules to allow five bases instead of three
Young person who is upset because a substitute teacher is not following the normal routine and is not listening to the young person’s advice
Young person is upset because the bakery delivered a defective cake to his birthday party—a Pikachu cake that is blue instead of yellow. (Or, pick a local sports team’s colors and the bakery messes up the colors )
Young person is sad and hopeless because, although he is doing his best to fit in and socialize with peers, he has been unsuccessful
Young person who is on the bus on the way to the first day of a summer day camp, feeling apprehensive about new activities and the prospect of social failure

Joel Shaul, LCSW

February 27, 2011June 27, 2026

Using a rope to demonstrate “social ties” for children with autism

Many young people on the autism spectrum can get confused regarding personal space when they are walking together with other people. Professionals working with youth on the spectrum in therapeutic recreation programs encounter these problems frequently. At a mall or on a trail in a park, it is not uncommon for some individuals to remain rather solitary during these group outings. Some dart ahead of the group, restless and lost in thought. Others lag far behind, examining an interesting flower, stone or store merchandise. In either case, they are not well acquainted with the set of skills associated with walking together, keeping appropriate distance from others and conversing with them. A big rope, about fifteen feet long, is a very useful visual device for increasing awareness of “connectedness” during outings. Before the walk, you can get together with the young people and say something like this, using the rope as your prop: “When people are together on a walk, it’s like they are connected together by an invisible rope. Even though they are all walking separately using their own legs, they are also walking together. If you get too far behind the other people, then if they think of something interesting to tell you or show you, you are too far away to hear them. They might feel like you are slowing them down. If you run ahead, the people you are with might feel like you are trying to get away from them or rush them. When you are walking with your friends, try to stay between this distance … and this distance.” [Here us where you have everyone gather around, and you use your rope to show “too far ahead” and “too far behind.”] Later, when I am on the walk following this mini-lesson employing the rope, I use a “hauling in the rope” pantomime gesture to remind kids who are drifting away that they need to remain “tied together” with their companions. I hope you this visual-based social skills training method is helpful for your students and clients on the autism spectrum.

Joel Shaul, LCSW

Your comments on these resources are most welcome, and often helpful. Click HERE to send an email.

February 25, 2011June 27, 2026

Words hurt, words help

To download the two worksheets shown below, click on the links below:

Words Hurt, Words Help Worksheets Download

[In German: Worte-tun-weh-Worte-helfen]

[In Polish]

[In Hebrew]

When I work with children with ASD on social skills, I often ask them: “How long will another person remember what you do or what you say?” A typical answer I get is: “About five minutes.” These answers are enlightening. Frequently, young people with ASD have the impression that other people just don’t remember too many details about what other people say and do. A young man who sometimes neglected to button his shirt insisted that no one ever noticed. “And even if they did see my shirt unbuttoned, they would just forget in a second.”

Young people on the autism spectrum may experience difficulty understanding the social consequences of their words and actions. This lack of awareness can affect them in several ways. First, the child with ASD may be less likely to say something encouraging or complimentary to another person. Second, the child may fail to discern the harmful effects of hurtful words, and blurt out “unfiltered” statements with harsh, judgmental or violent content. The combination of these distorted beliefs lowers their motivation to make good impressions and also lowers their conviction that altering their own words and behavior really makes any difference anyhow.

When we try to help children with autism increase their ability to use kind words and refrain from hurtful ones, it seems very helpful to use clear visuals. It also helps to equate the other person’s emotional pain and pleasure to physical pain and pleasure. My clients seem to “get” that other people feel physical pain and pleasure much better than they understand other people’s emotional pain and pleasure.

I developed these illustrated social story worksheets to help children to realize that their words have the power to hurt and to help, and that their words and actions matter.

Joel Shaul, LCSW

Words Help worksheet — .[Years after creating these worksheets, I wrote an illustrated book for children with ASD about social cause and effect. It is called *Our Brains are Like Computers*. To learn more about it, click HERE.

Here is another set of free social skills worksheets on the topic of social cause and effect and what others remember: Pencil Memories and Pen Memories

Pencil Memories / Pen Memories Social Cause and Effect Worksheets

Your comments on these resources are most welcome, and often helpful. Click HERE to send an email.

February 13, 2011June 27, 2026

Compliment tag, game to teach kids with ASD an important social skill

Many young people on the autism spectrum have difficulties with the skill of giving and receiving compliments. They might not see the point in saying something kind or flattering to another person. They tend to miss opportunities to use kind words to strengthen relationships with others.

Here is a fun and hilarious game I have used with all ages of kids, from six to 18.

Tell the kids: “This is Compliment Tag. A compliment is when you say something nice to someone — about the way they look, something they have, something they did, something they said, or they way they are. When you play Compliment Tag, the person who is “it” tries to tag you. To keep from becoming “it,” you have to give this person a compliment quickly before they tag you. If they tag you before you can give them a compliment, then you are ‘it.’ ”

Easy Compliment Tag: Compliment something the person is wearing, hair, shoes, appearance.

Harder Compliment Tag: Compliment something the person is good at.

This is a social skills activity for kids on the autism spectrum that seldom fails to engage kids. Enjoy it.