Tag: psychotherapy

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Personal Space, Personal Distance ~ free, illustrated pdf eBook for ages 8 to teen

The cover of the book on personal space by Joel Shaul
Personal-Space-Personal-Distance-ebook-downloadDownload

German translation of this book

Irish translation of this book

Hebrew translation of this book

"Young people with autism often find it very hard to figure out personal space."
"Most autistic children need the help of parents, teachers and therapists to figure out personal space."
"This personal space book is formatted to display on a computer, tablet or projection screen. It is to be read with an adult."

I created this resource for several reasons.

First, although there are many resources available to help children with autism to learn about personal space, the resources tend to be simple and formulaic. In my own experience helping young people on the autism spectrum to learn about personal space, the actual unwritten rules are so complicated that merely relating some simple rules isn’t good enough.

Second, there are few resources on personal space and distance designed to help older children, teens and young adults. As children on the spectrum grow up, the personal space rules affecting them get more and more complicated, especially if the young person is involved in a variety of challenging interactions in the community.

Third, I have come to view problems with getting too close as part of a spectrum of challenges that includes getting too far away. My own clients over the years who made mistakes with getting too close or inappropriately touching people also had difficulty with getting too far away from the expected social grouping.

I designed this eBook to help young people, over a wider range of ages, with a more broadly defined set of challenges involving personal space and distance.

The pictures below show some pages from the book, illustrating the wide variety of personal space problems that autistic youth are constantly under pressure to solve. The examples come from my many years of work with autistic children and teens in therapy, classrooms and especially in my ten years of running summer youth programs for teens on the spectrum.

"Part one of the book is about getting too close to others. Part two is about getting too far from others."
This shows page 4 of the book, featuring a 14 year old who hugs his great-grandfather too tightly.
This shows page 14, the graphic shows a boy carelessly touching a girl in the chest.
This shows page 16, showing a boy getting too close to someone to view that person's phone.
This shows page 24 - a boy walking too close to others at a public pool.
This shows page 29, in which a boy gets too far from his parents in a grocery store.
This shows page 37 - a boy running far ahead of his family at a movie theatre.
Picture showing a personal space problem at home during meal time.
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Visual strategy for autism social skills training: using a toy balance

Inexpensive toy balances are terrific for teaching and practicing reciprocity in conversation and social interaction. If you have one on hand for your work with kids on the spectrum, I think you may end up using it frequently, as I have in my own work.

This illustrated tutorial shows you how to use the manipulate the balance and place 3×5 cards on the balance to demonstrate how to have a “balanced” conversation in which both people take and equal part. Children on the spectrum who many sometimes “monologue” can find this hands-on learning method engaging and valuable.

Picture showing the components of the activity: a toy balance scale and a pile of 3 x 5 cards.
Use 3 x 5 index cards as weights on one side or the other corresponding to each person's conversation turn.
"Conversation is like a balance. One person says something and the other person says something back."
"The other person says something back. It's balanced now."
This picture shows how the balance goes up and down as each 3 x 5 card is added to each side, corresponding to back and forth conversation turns.
Picture shows cards being placed on one side and the other as "balanced" conversation proceeds.
Picture shows what an unbalanced conversation looks like - by putting most of the cards on one side of the scale, as shown here.
"You can 'weigh' the different sides of the conversation."
"You can use the balance to practice balanced conversations with the child."
"You can use the balance to demonstrate balanced conversation between two children."
"You can use the balance to demonstrate balanced conversation between two puppets."
This picture shows all the cards weighing down one side of the balance, demonstrating a monologue instead of conversation.

In a similar manner, you can use the toy balance to demonstrate reciprocity in social interaction. You can use the balance to demonstrate such social skills essentials as taking turns, giving and receiving, and paying back favors. The following pictures demonstrate how to use the balance and what to say while you are teaching.

"The other way to use the balance is to demonstrate reciprocity in social interactions."
You say, "When people get along with other people, it's like a balance. You do something for a person, and then later that person does something for you."
"When people get along in a balanced way, both sides get what they want over time."
When demonstrating social interactions, you add cards to each side of the scale to show how people take turns getting what they want.
You can use a balance to demonstrate reciprocity in friendships, as shown in this picture.
You can use a balance to demonstrate reciprocity in families, as shown in picture.
You can use a balance to demonstrate reciprocity during holidays like Christmas, as shown in picture.
This image connects to a YouTube video in which a speech therapist demonstrates how to use the conversation balance.

Here is another free conversation social skills resource for teaching reciprocity, but with more than two people present:

Pie Chart Prompt for Proportional Talking

Your comments on these resources are most welcome, and often helpful. Click HERE to send an email.

The Conversation Train Book

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Minting New Thoughts: Engaging CBT Activity for kids with ASD and others

Here is a great activity for individuals or groups of kids to introduce or expand on how to cope with upsetting feelings.  It uses the metaphor of paper money that is first minted, and then shredded if it is defective or worn out. To do the Mint New Thoughts activity you need to print out lots of the special play money (the link for the download play money is found below) and a paper shredder (or you can just tear up the old money).

Print out the OLD THOUGHT money and NEW THOUGHT money in quantities large enough for each participant to have about six to use. To download and print the money, click here:

Mint-New-Thoughts-Activity-downloadDownload

This kit is available in Polish

Spanish: Acuñar nuevos pensamientos

For free access to an excellent Boom Card version of this resource, click HERE.

To introduce this activity:

Try using language like this, while showing children the pictures below:  “Did you ever wonder where money comes from, and what happens to it when it is no good anymore?  Money comes from a huge printing factory called a “mint.”  All of our money comes from these places called mints. Money that is worn out and damaged gets thrown away. At a special factory called The Mint, the worn-out money is shredded and burned. Brand new money is printed and sent out to the banks. Our own brains sometimes need to get rid of old money that is damaged or defective. These old thoughts can make us sad, angry or worried. Then we can find new thoughts to help us think more clearly and feel better.”

[This script continues after these pictures.]

Picture of a worn-out, damaged 100 dollar bill
Picture shows paper money that has been shredded.
Picture shows old, worn out 20 dollar bill next to a brand new 20 dollar bill.

“Often, when the money is not printed right, they have to destroy it.  They use something like the paper shredders you see in an office.  Also, other money gets worn out, and they have to shred that money too.

“To replace the destroyed money, the mint prints brand new money.

Your mind is something like a mint that makes money, except your mind makes thoughts instead of dollars.  Hundreds of thoughts, thousands of thoughts, every day.  Most of the thoughts are good and helpful to you.  But some kinds of thoughts aren’t good because they just make you upset too much.  When you get these thoughts, they are like bad or worn-out money that needs to be destroyed.  Then, you need new and better thoughts to make you feel good and calm instead of upset.”

  1. Now, show the kids how to fill out the OLD THOUGHT money.  If you have not already introduced the kids to “poison” and “antidote” thoughts, you will want to do this slowly and carefully.  There are lots of other CBT resources available on the website.
  2. Have the kids fill out the NEW THOUGHT money now.  Provide plenty of extra blank money for them to practice.  Tell them that they can use more than one NEW THOUGHT to replace the OLD THOUGHT.
  3. Have the kids run the old money through a paper shredder.  If you have the opportunity to work outside and actually burn them, like on a charcoal grill, this really gets kids’ attention.
  4. If you like, you can laminate the new money now, and with the kids’ permission, display it.

 

To access a summary of all the CBT materials on this website, click HERE.

Derived from a method described in Cognitive Therapy with Children and Adolescents, ed. By Reinecke, Dattilio and Freeman, 2006, Guilford Press.

Joel Shaul, LCSW

Your comments on these resources are most welcome, and often helpful. Click HERE to send an email.

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The Conversation Train Book

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